The rubber bells are tulling
in each and every Scottish toon,
The final breeding haggises
have all just been shot doon.

Mistaken for a grouse or two
the landed gentry thought,
so blasted them tay buggery.
Noo their arse is entire o shot.

For those who’re no acquainted wi
Its most outstanding feature
The haggis has one particular extended leg
Unlike any other creature.

This assists it on the Scottish hills
when operating roon aw day.
(But doesn’t support with mating
if they don’t run the exact same way!)

If the female right leg’s longer
It would then operate anticlockwise
If the mate’s Left leg is longer
I’m frightened that’s anti-cock-wise.

But anyway, I do digress
From how their plight as such
Has still left us with two haggises
Though only with one crutch.

The Laird’s brain was distracted by
Reading Tolkien.(I think, “The Hobbit”)
The result, so unhappy is,
The very last douleur haggis
Could now be called John Wayne Bobbit.
Julius. Stage taken. I completed it with a limerick style, even though not exact. (The very first line does not match the 2nd and 5th) The wjhole stop does match back again to the story, as the de- penisifying act was completed by shot-gun.)

Anyway, we signed the contract and the floor in the kitchen area necessary redone. In the contract he mentioned he would do the flooring within x amount of time. A pipe had bust in excess of winter ahead of we lived there and ruined the floor in kitchen and the cabinets. The cupboard is getting held by a cinder block btw. He has but to complete the floor. We carry it up and he keeps stating he is searching for someone.

We had a man repairing up the home had redid the exterior by gutters and made some patch perform (its wood siding) He stopped coming by and landlord doesn’t know exactly where he went. The h2o was horrible when we moved in. They had to exchange a bunch of stuff. I had not shower for a week or so. The pressure nonetheless is horrible and when you flush or run water the h2o from one more faucet trinkles out. There is a huge gap throughout the image window exactly where the window isn’t going to go up to the frame and its letting massive bugs in each night time and we now know why we froze our ass off in the winter and our electrical bill was horrible. Each And Every door and window is uneven and has enormous cracks in it allowing bugs in all the time and the air out. The bedroom I was staying in started to odor on muggy days and it commenced generating me sick. I assumed of mildew so now we are sleeping in the dwelling room and closed that door off. I went again in there afterwards on the week and ants have taken more than bc the windows are not even sufficient to close. There is an air conditioner in each room of the house and its like permanent in the windows and stuffed with like caulk, but its so previous its chipping/falling out and leaving huge gaps in among the window/air cond. Gosh, I could go on about this place. Not to mention when it rains our carport and under in which our again door is will get flooded, the entrance door light doesn’t perform so at evening its pitch black (it needs rewiring – something he stated he would do too), the driveway is washing away at the bottom, the porch has that pretend grass things on it and it all mildewey and smells horrible, we dont even use the front door. Oh and my fav issue – the electrical power only lets like 3 points be on at the moment or the fuse blows. We informed him about that and he stated just swap plugs…well, in excess of 95 % of the plug outlets don’t even work! The sinks get backed up for no reason, the pipes leak, the bathtub faucet handles and faucet leak letting hardly any h2o come out the shower head….ugh just a mess. Now, I Am not heading to repair this location all up with my cash if we’re renting…is this adequate to just again out of the contract? This home requirements to be remodeled big time. We have lived here about 5 months and are so fed up, but experience like we’re caught in a contract.

Thanks for examining and in advance for your aid – btw he is a attorney as well so he really should know if the property is falling apart we should not be dwelling here. I just do not assume he understands how negative it is, since he is usually occupied and never comes out to look…even that man repairing the area up in the commencing was surprised it was so bad. But like I explained we had no alternative at the time we were homeless….